Empty Father's Day

"I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they'll 'say something about it' or not. I hate if they do, and if they don't."

- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

This is the day where I endure as the world celebrates the fathers among us. This ode is for a daughter I spent years prayerfully waiting for, and finally, after an eternity of expectation, accepting that she would never arrive. 

Grief comes in many forms, agony has many faces, but all of them are exponentially multiplied by the evil of being accompanied by hollow answers and unholy platitudes wrapped and delivered by the grief stricken's closest friends and family. 

Below are emotive words, forming lines, chained together by grammatical rules and rhythms of cadence. I believe Poetry helps one utter agony and can also be one of the great salves for a life saturated in suffering..... This is an ode to the emptiness of Father's Day....

Empty Father’s Day

  

God knows, I know, that He said No

My Whys answered with He said so.

A nursery’s empty cradle

Mocks our hope as cruel fable.

She sweeps past our eyes

Beyond touch, and my heart sighs

Dark curls askew, black patents tapping

Enchanted hope, in pink wrapping

In infertility’s chamber of waiting

 This cruel crèche of hopeless creating

I see Daddy’s girl, and Mommy’s mirror

Dissolve into my biological coding error

Father’s day without a daughter

There are no dragons for me to slaughter

Abjuring hope, rage abating into impotence

Aghast at Fate’s cruel indolence

Unhallowed prayers for my lost princess

 Burning tears providing unholy incense 

All hopeless, endless empty religious dreams

For Christian karma’s pyramidal schemes

 But she exists within my fertile imagination

Despite my reproductive resignation

The whispered name of my unformed progeny

Echoes in another empty Father’s Day