hapless and helpless sex toys...

"What is grand is necessarily obscure to weak men. That which can be made explicit to the idiot is not worth my care."

William Blake

The societal expectation for men is that we are barely coherent when our sexual appetite is aroused. From puberty boys are encouraged to believe this urge is irresistible and thus we have no imperative as a gender to develop the self-control necessary to use our sexual appetites wisely, enjoyably and safely. The result is a society half populated by a gender of boyish-men totally subject to their sexual appetites. These childish demi-males end up as hapless toys laying abjectly naked below an objectified feminine figure constructed solely from fractured images collated over years from soiled websites and tawdry movies.

I believe there is a grander vision for how men can behave as sexual beings while retaining the ability to remain standing on our own two feet as equal and equitable partners with our feminine sojourners.

But this vision is only for those of us whose aim is to be strong self-regulating men. The weak man will quickly dismiss what I am about to say as irrelevant, irreverent or irrational.

How do we untangle this mess of gender objectification and gender abjection?

I think the first step is to debug the myth that sex is a "special" human appetite. I think part of the issue is that we have deified or demonized our sexual impulses to such a state that we feel awed when they appear.  If we chose to pull back the cloak of shameful secrecy with which we discuss sex and sexual appetites and reveal the normalcy and nobility inherent in the sexual expression we would consider the period where we lacked sexual control to be a normal part of that immature stage of our development and like the other parts of that developmental stage it ought to have been overcome during late adolescence as one successfully developed into an interdependent adult.

The second step would be the admission that few boys are properly taught that it is utterly unnatural to sexually objectify women. We men should teach our boys that there is nothing normal about childish men turning sacred Beings into sex toys thereby demeaning an entire gender of wives, mothers, daughters and sisters merely for their sexual gratification. The result of men not teaching boys to be real men is that we now have a world populated by boyish males abjectly subject to their sexual urges. Historically this childish male has betrayed his responsibilities within the nuclear family, his Holy Orders within his Faith, and the fealty due to his nation all to satisfy a physical urge that has no existential result if left unmet.

What will it take for men to stand up and take control of their own sexual urges? What will it take for men to begin teaching boys that all forms of pornography are to be considered repugnant and unmanly, and those tawdry frat-boy movies that degrade both genders are worthy of only ridicule from any self respecting man?

 I believe it will take strong men who radically embrace the belief that sexually objectifying women is ethically abhorrent and will inevitably emasculate their sons. This embracing of belief will swiftly become action as few men will willingly countenance intentionally emasculating their sons.

I have no time for the fear inducing barriers we erect around our young men. I have no time for the shame inducing barriers we erect around our young women for and from the protection of their male counterparts. Such ploys merely sanction the legitimacy of the behavior of objectification. It is abhorrent and immature to objectify another human being merely for your own sexual gratification. There are many other healthier and more holistically helpful ways to satisfy our sexual appetites than demeaning another precious human being.

What do you think?