Step 1: Get off your ass!

"Meek young men grow up in libraries, believing it is their duty to accept the views which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon, have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries, when they wrote these books."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I walk around this world and everywhere I look I see young men hiding because they are unsure if they are indeed men, I also see young women mourning that fearful boys are the only thing on offer if they want a man to love.

This morning I was going to write about how Maasai boys enter manhood through hunting lions with the men of the tribe. But I realized we are so far from killing lions that I better start with more basic steps before I offer to take young men out to kill the things that terrify them.

I'm going to offer some profoundly simple steps as an opening gambit in offering a class in manhood.

Step 1: Get off your ass!

Last Thursday night in my home I overheard one young woman humorously tell another young woman that they should get the "men" into a room with me so I could teach them about "manliness" because of what they had just witnessed.

What extraordinary act had they witnessed that might create even humorously the idea that perhaps I had something to teach boys about being men?

I got off my ass! You see, I had just paid attention to my wife's needs while I helped facilitate a conversation about Utopia. They had missed the subtle gesture my wife had made to signal her desire to have tissues in the room. I responded to that signal by getting up and going to get tissues.

Because I'm a man I make it a habit to know what's happening around my wife and I'm prepared to respond to her slightest whim. Ladies, that isn't extraordinary, that is barely ordinary! Ladies, for the love of all that is holy, you really have to set the bar a lot higher than being delightedly surprised if a man just gets off his ass and gets tissues for his Beloved when she asks! 

Getting off my ass and serving my Beloved is barely a baseline for being a man who has committed to another. I truly don't care if your Beloved is another man, a woman or a cause worthy of celibacy, if you committed then you have to pay attention and get off your ass when that focus of your love wants something!

Men, if you want to be considered "manly" then set the books down, get up and leave the classroom of theoretical manhood and get off your ass!

The basic steps for successfully getting off your ass!

Step 1: Keep your eye on the ball. 
If you aren't paying attention you'll miss the critical moments that tell you when to move! The real world is fast and remorseless, if you are walking through it with your eyes closed your are going to get your ass handed to you!
Step 2: Know your position.
Have a few priorities in life that are worth serving and ignore the rest of the babble that makes up this noisy world we live in. I have a young man I hang out with who plays American Football. He has a position and that is what he spends almost all of his time practicing and perfecting. I have only five "positions" I play in life. Everything else is obviously for someone else!
Step 3: Practice makes perfect.
Figure out a few winning moves and do them religiously. Develop strengths and then use them, be passionately unapologetic of who you are and how you respond to the world around you. If for no other reason it will ensure you have a partner who likes you.

Guys, you can't ever really learn to be a man from reading this Blog or anybody else's words. You have to get up, go find the nearest man you can see being a man, and demand he teach you how to be a man!

Girls, you don't deserve a man if you only ever expect them to behave like boys. Demand more and perhaps the boys will begin to practice being men!

I'll assume that "getting off your ass" is within the grasp of my readership. I'll ponder what "step 2 in basic manhood" should be and then set it down in this Blog in the days and weeks to come. I really believe men should be able to kill the thing that terrifies them and haunts their communities. But I also think un-blooded boys really need a few practice swings in the safety of the community before we send them out to slay the slayer of their potential manhood.

If you are thinking that I'm just unbelievably arrogant because I have the audacity to teach manhood on this Blog then my advice is that you should read something else.