The good wife....

"A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night" 

Chanakya -  - Indian philosopher of the 4th Century B.C. 

What is it men want from a wife? What does a woman have to do to be considered a Good wife? 

Chanakya's description of a good wife, is obviously from a different time and from a very different culture than the one I live in yet I found it compelling because of the resonance it has with the societal messages I've received as a Christian man about what to expect from a wife. 

I had simply planned on writing a post on the institute of marriage and the complexity of gender roles as  expressed inside my world-view of Christianity. But then I asked Bethany to read the first draft and she suggested I create a more comprehensive commentary on marriage and the interaction between husbands and wives.

So this post will start a four part mini-series, looking at the Christian's marriage and the differing expectations placed upon the genders in marriage. I'll post it all today, feel free to read at your leisure as it constitutes the bulk of what I teach other men on what I believe to be the basis of a Christian marriage.

When I look at the institute of "Christian" marriage in the Western World I'm convinced that we have made some systemic errors in how we approach this hallowed foundation of a healthy society.

A cursory examination of the modern Christian marriage leaves an objective observer with the unpleasant conclusion that women are fundamentally disadvantaged by Christianity's concepts of how responsibility and authority are to be shared between the partners within a marriage.

As I examine the evidence of historical suffrage for women in marriage I find that women throughout the ages have often been burdened with a belief that the Bible teaches them to humbly shoulder almost all of the responsibility in their marriage, while submitting meekly to their husband's authority. Any infraction or complaint by women about this situation has been historically lambasted by much of Christianity's spiritual leadership. The baseline of much of the church's historic teaching on marriage can be coalesced into this main ideal: "Husbands are the leaders of the family and good wives and obedient children ought to be happy to submit to the man's authority."

This systemic disenfranchisement of Women's rights has created a cycle of abuse and abandonment that I believe is at the root of our society's disfunction.

I am a man and so I will speak from a man's perspective. I have asked my wife to consider adding her perspective as a woman in some future posts. What I have to say is my personal opinion, and while I belief deeply that how I behave as a husband is rooted in my understanding of what the Bible teaches about a husband's duties, I understand there are alternative interpretations of the Biblical teaching of marriage.